Cackles Dot Com
by the-spellbound-spirit
Summary: It's Christmas Day at Cackle's Academy. Mr Hallow has set up a website for the teachers and has sent them a brand new computer to enjoy in the staff room. One shot.


_**A/N: Merry Christmas! Here's a little Christmas treat from my computer to yours. I hope you enjoy this little festive edition to the "A Time" universe based in modern-day Cackle's. Disclaimer: I am not Jill Murphy and I do not own any of the characters (apart from Patricia and Daniel) that are mentioned in this story.**_

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A thick layer of white snow covered the courtyard of Cackle's Academy as snowflakes descended gently onto the cobblestone ground. The sky was pale in the morning light as Imogen Drill returned from her morning run, pressing her footsteps into the fresh, white blanket. She pushed the heavy wooden door open and ran upstairs to her room.

Imogen's room was very homely with photographs everywhere of her family – her brother, Matthew, and his daughter, Emily and their parents. She also had a photograph of her boyfriend, Serge by her bed. They had met at Murdock McFee's Adventure Centre two years ago. Goodness, they had been together two years now... Imogen couldn't quite believe it.

There he was with his dark hair, dark eyes, holding her in his arms with a wide grin like a Cheshire Cat. They looked so happy together. If only he could be here with her today, on Christmas morning. Instead she was at work. The students didn't leave until after Christmas and New Year, though lessons were over now. She wouldn't see him until January.

With a heavy sigh, she made her way to the shower, slipping off her workout gear and walking into the shower. She switched it on and felt the cool water tingle against her warm, tanned skin. She was soon out of the shower and she dried off her short hair, pulling on a Christmas jumper her Dad had bought her the year before after she complained about the castle being so cold. It was red with white reindeer around the collar and the middle. Traditional, not very stylish, but Christmas was about having a laugh in the Drill family.

She slipped on a pair of leggings and her comfy, grey slippers and made her way down to the staff room. On her way out for her run she had seen a delivery truck arriving at the castle gates so no doubt the parcel would be in the staff room just waiting to be opened. She was stopped on her way down by an all too familiar voice.

"Merry Christmas, Miss Drill!"

Mildred Hubble stepped out of her bedroom, her hair in her usual scruffy plaits, her outfit crumpled as though she'd slept in it. She stood in the doorway holding a brown paper package tied with string.

"What's all this, Mildred?" Imogen asked, walking towards the worst witch at the school.

Mildred passed Imogen the parcel, "I asked my Mum to send me this. It's a Christmas present for you."

Imogen beamed at the young witch, taking the parcel from her and unwrapping it. It was, "Another Christmas jumper! I'll tell you what, Mildred, I'll put it on right away," and she sprinted to her bedroom and put on Mildred's Christmas jumper. It was emerald green, just like Imogen's eyes, and with a yellow "I" knitted into the centre. It fitted well, but it was a bit baggy on the shoulders. She supposed she could wear it off the shoulder like they did in the eighties.

She returned to Mildred who looked very pleased at her favourite teacher wearing her Mum's handmade sweater.

"Merry Christmas, Mildred." Imogen said warmly, as she made her way to the staff room.

The other staff were already there; Amelia was wearing a fairisle sweater, Davina wearing a suit that made her look like a Christmas pudding. Constance was wearing her usual black, leather dress that creaked as she moved though she had ditched her burgundy lipstick in exchange for a more festive shade of red.

"Ah come in, Imogen. Have a mince pie, won't you?" Amelia said, passing her the plate stacked with mince pies. Imogen faltered for a moment then took one. She could easily burn it off again over the holidays, "That jumper is lovely."

"Mildred's mother sent it for me," Imogen smiled warmly, hearing Constance scoff at the mention of the misfit of the third year class. She sat down next to Davina, admiring her suit, "So what was in the parcel that arrived this morning?"

Constance sighed heavily, "One of those infernal computers. Apparently it's from Mr Hallow. He's set up a website for the school to bring us into the twenty-first century."

Imogen smiled brightly at the deputy headmistress, who did not return the gesture. She had been waiting for this moment for a long time. As a non-witch living in a school with no internet access it was going to be so liberating for her to finally show what technology can do that magic can't.

Amelia had already unwrapped and plugged in the computer at Constance's desk (much to the displeasure of her deputy) and was yet to power it up and connect it to the Wi-Fi, which had also been put in place by Mr Hallow.

Imogen leapt from her seat. She turned around to look at a shiny black screen with a smooth keyboard. In all honesty the computer looked quite out of place in the almost medieval school but to Imogen it was almost like coming home to the real world rather than a world of witches and magic. She dragged her chair over to the computer and pressed the button in the middle of the tower, which Amelia had conveniently placed on the floor, and waited for the computer to load up.

It awoke with a whirring of fans and machinery. Davina peered over her shoulder as Imogen went through the launch screens. Eventually she was on the desktop screen and Amelia was peering over her other shoulder.

"Are you not interested, Miss Hardbroom?" Amelia asked, turning to look at her deputy.

Constance sneered, "No. All of this technology is a distraction and will lower the standard of our teaching. One day we will be more interested in a game about matching different sweets and going up levels rather than showing our girls how to function as normal human beings.."

"Do you mean Candy Crush?" Imogen asked as she clicked on the internet application.

"What on Earth is Candy Crush? Anyway, I am quite happy spending the day by myself in my room. I'm not getting involved."

"Don't be a spoiled sport, Constance. Pull up a chair." Davina said, her voice rising and falling in pitch like a taut violin string.

"Yes. Mr Hallow spent a lot of money on this, Miss Hardbroom. Don't go upstairs," Said Imogen as she looked up at the tall, granite-like potions mistress.

With a roll of her eyes Constance pulled up her chair and sat beside Imogen.

"Do you have the URL for the school website Mr Hallow's set up for us?" Imogen asked, turning to Amelia who peered over her left shoulder.

Amelia blinked, "The what?"

"The website address."

Amelia and Davina shared a look. Constance made a scathing noise as she folded her arms, inaudibly shunning the technology in front of her.

"Oh for goodness sake. Did you not take it?" Imogen asked, turning in her chair to look around at Amelia.

"Well, we thought it would be obvious." Davina said in a very quiet voice.

Imogen rolled her eyes, "So what do you think it is?"

After numerous suggestions and a number of searches returning some very questionable results they finally found the school homepage at Cackles dot com.

"I wasn't expecting witches dot com to be so vulgar. I never knew witches were allowed to do things like that to their broomsticks!" Davina laughed as she watched Imogen scroll through the rather minimal school homepage.

Amelia chuckled, "Don't you be getting any ideas, Davina."

Davina shook her head, laughing under her breath as she watched Imogen navigate the school website.

The layout of the website was very basic with different sections including the history of the school and the different subjects taught at the school (which was quite minimal in itself as there are only four teachers at Cackle's to start with). The sight was adorned with pictures of star students and different pictures of school events that had taken place, like Halloween displays.

"I wonder if he took my suggestion about the teachers' profiles," Commented Amelia as they delved into the site. All of the staff around her shot her a look and then turned back to the computer as Imogen had selected the page about the school's core subjects. PE was at the top of course, then Spells, Charms and Potions. She looked at PE first and found that Mr Hallow had taken a picture of her and placed it on the website.

" _Imogen Drill, thirty-four, is the sports mistress of Cackle's Academy and our resident non-witch._ _She has always loved sports from a young age, especially team sports like basketball and volleyball. When asked about what drives her love for the subject Miss Drill commented,"Sharing my love for sports and PE has always been my goal. Since the first time I kicked a football I knew that's what I wanted to do."_ " Imogen looked around at her colleagues and said with a rather exasperated tone, "Well he could have chosen a better photograph of me. I look drunk in that picture. Let's have a look at potions-"

"Oh no, that's not necessary." Constance piped up, placing a cool hand on Imogen's shoulder, "Perhaps we could go to Chanting instead."

Davina cocked her head, "What's the matter Constance? Just play along, it's only a bit of fun."

Constance leant back in her chair again as Imogen selected the Potions page. Unsurprising to Imogen, Constance looked flawless in her photograph but nevertheless the deputy headmistress cringed at the sight of herself. In the picture that had been chosen for the website she had her hair in her usual tight bun and was wearing a black, high neck dress.

Imogen cleared her throat, " _Deputy Headmistress and Potions Mistress, Constance Hardbroom, forty-one-_ "

"You're forty-one?" Davina chuckled, "You must have had a hard paper round."

Constance's eyebrows were threatening to merge with her hairline as she fixed Davina with one of her most blood curdling stares. Words weren't necessary as the chanting mistress took back her jibe and allowed Imogen to continue.

"Okay, back on topic. _"Constance Hardbroom, forty-one, has been teaching at Cackle's Academy since she graduated university and has ascended to a position of authority by setting herself standards and maintaining discipline both in herself, her colleagues and her students. When asked about the subject she teaches, Constance said, "Regardless of the subject one teaches it is essential to realise that all students learn differently. To me the most important thing is hands-on practical work. By brewing potions and picking fresh herbs our young witches can not only learn to identify useful plants for their potions but also how to brew their potions efficiently and safely which, in my eyes, is paramount to their success."_ "

Amelia looked impressed as she turned to Constance who, for the first time in all the years Imogen had known her, was blushing.

"Perhaps that's enough." Amelia suggested, "We have Christmas dinner to attend to and I believe Mrs Tapioca has chosen turkey and gammon."

Indeed Mrs Tapioca had prepared a wonderful Christmas dinner and it was waiting for everyone in the Great Hall; turkey with overly sweet cranberry sauce and gravy that was so thick you could probably cut through it with a knife. The gammon had been cooked with pineapple rings and they had taken full use of Mr Blossom's greenhouse facilities and grown fresh vegetables for the occasion. Imogen winced at the sight of brussell sprouts beside the creamy mashed potatoes.

"Tradition, Miss Drill," Davina whispered, "They are wonderful for the digestive system, you know."

She furrowed her eyebrows as she scooped a single brussell sprout on to her plate of turkey breast, mashed potato, carrot, peas and mint sauce. After she put a bit more on her plate she took her seat at the staff table but it wasn't long until their was a voice calling her name. It was Mildred asking if she liked her mother's sweater. Imogen nodded through a mouthful of boiling hot gravy and mashed potato.

Amelia sat beside Constance. The potions mistress didn't eat very much to start with but all she had on her plate was one very thin slice of turkey, some cranberry sauce and a small serving of each vegetable. Imogen pushed one of her Yorkshire puddings on to her plate. Constance looked up at her, her eyes narrowed.

"What are you doing?" Constance snapped, staring at the Yorkshire pudding as though Imogen had just placed a mouse on her plate.

Imogen offered a sympathetic smile, "You're thin enough as it is. You can't starve yourself. Consider it a Christmas present."

Constance gave a sneery smile, " _Merry Christmas, here's a Yorkshire pudding_. Very creative, Miss Drill. Whatever will you come up with next? Perhaps a Bakewell tart for my birthday?"

Imogen rolled her eyes as she continued to eat her Christmas dinner in silence, listening to Davina talking about her upcoming trip to the Inner Hebrides to visit her good friend, Patricia Gimlet.

"She and Daniel have invited me to visit them in Eigg. I can't believe they're still together."

"And they never married? They've been together for, well, since before you started working here, Constance," Amelia said as she pushed a gravy covered brussell sprout around her plate.

Davina shook her head, "It's not really Patricia's style. She's not really into romantics."

"Unless they're New Romantics, that is." Constance sneered as she wiped her lips with her napkin.

Imogen chuckled into her dinner at Constance's jibe at the old Jewellery Design teacher. Imogen had only known Patricia for three years before she had retired to the Inner Hebrides due to nervous exhaustion, but what she knew she was a very flaky woman with a heart of gold. She had been tougher in her hay-day according to Amelia and obsessed with trying to be cool and "down with the kids".

After they finished the dried out turkey and stuffing balls Imogen went up to her room to get changed. Constance and Amelia decided to go for a walk together to work off Christmas dinner leaving Davina alone in the staff room with the computer.

Imogen soon returned downstairs and began talking to the third years.

"Are you seeing Serge at all, Miss?" Mildred asked. She was always curious about Imogen. She was aware that she was the worst witch's favourite teacher so replied with a kind smile.

"Not until the school holidays sadly, Mildred. Though I don't think you should be enquiring about my love life. Have you made any plans for when you're at home?"

Mildred shook her head, "Maud has invited me to stay at hers for a few days before the start of term."

Maud smiled brightly up at Imogen, her blonde ponytails swinging, "I don't live far from the school so it's perfect, plus I get to spend some time with my best friend."

There was a shriek from the staff room just as Constance and Amelia came back through the front door. Constance looked down at Amelia and then across the hall at Imogen as all three teachers charged into the staff room to see Davina staring at the computer screen, open mouthed.

"I won..." Davina whispered, her eyes wide as she looked up at her colleagues, "I won..."

Imogen looked around at Amelia and Constance and then back at Davina, "What have you won?"

"I won the quiz. How much are four hundred bottles of Mongolian fermented yak's milk worth? I said £1000 and I won!"

With her heart beating against her rib cage, Imogen knelt down by the computer and looked at the site Davina had been using, "This is eBay!"

Davina smiled down at her colleague, "I know and I won the game."

Even Constance and Amelia, who were completely unfamiliar with the auction site, had to avoid looking at each other in case they burst into laughter.

Amelia chuckled as she took her seat beneath the staff room window, leaving Imogen to sort out the mind-boggling issue with the computer. If she couldn't cancel the order of fermented yak's milk this would indeed be a Christmas to remember, "Oh Davina. When will you learn?"


End file.
